Awake: Familiar Tones
by ThnksFrThMmrs87
Summary: A series of short stories based around the incredible music of Josh Groban. Features a variety of subjects and themes
1. Awake

Note From The Author-- Okay, so this is me pushing myself out of my boundaries again. I suppose this is a sort of a take on the Shuffle challenge. I decided to take my favorite CD by my favorite recording artist and write a short story based around the a verse or chorus from each song. I've chosen Awake by Josh Groban because he quite literally is my hero. If you haven't heard his music I encourage you to do so because he is truly amazing. This will be posted in two pieces, one with the songs sung in English and another with the songs sung in foreign languages. I encourage everyone to give this a try, it's really fun and interesting.

Disclaimer-- I do not own any of the characters of CSI: NY, nor do I own any of the beautiful songs of Josh Groban.

_Keep me awake to memorize you_

_Give me more time to feel this way_

_We can't stay like this forever_

_But I can have you next to me today_-Awake

They always seemed to find each other. After a difficult case or a trying day there would be a phone call or a shared glance, and inevitably they'd end up together, if only to make the world go away for a while.

Those nights they were together he never slept. He knew there was a good chance it couldn't last in the long run, that there were too many obstacles and differences for the two of them to ever work. Sometimes that hurt more than he could admit. Because of all that he couldn't sleep.

Long after she drifted off he stayed wide awake, relishing the feel of her in his arms. She never woke as he stroked his hand over her back or tangled his fingers in the softness of her hair. Having her there was always worth the loss of sleep.

He knew that in the morning they would part ways until they needed each other again. Eventually it would probably come to an end, and on that day he'd grieve for the loss of whatever they had. But until that day he'd take every moment that he could, and he'd stay awake to savor every single one of them.


	2. February Song

_Morning is waking up_

_And sometimes it's more than just enough_

_When all that you need to love_

_Is in front of your eyes-_ February Song

The morning sun filtering in through the windows stung Stella's eyes and she brought a hand up slowly to block its rays. When she felt the somewhat unfamiliar weight of an arm around her waist and a chest against her back disorientation came at her hard and fast.

Opening her eyes, she looked down and realization hit her. She knew those hands. For a moment she felt panic pressing down on her; how the hell had this happened? She forced herself to breathe and took a minute to just think. Wasn't this what she wanted? Hadn't she been wishing for? Hadn't she been hoping for this for months? The answer to all those questions was a resounding yes.

Feeling her heartbeat easing down from the hummingbird pace it had been keeping, she turned in his arms. Even in sleep there was something incredibly striking about Don Flack. He was too darkly handsome to be called angelic, though the cobalt blue eyes could have fought in the corner of fallen from heaven.

He was such a strong man, in so many ways, and Stella had wanted him for so long that she could hardly believe that she had finally gotten her wishes. She knew that it probably wouldn't be smooth sailing; after all this relationship had begun with them quite literally falling into bed with each other. Even so, none of that seemed to matter when she was lying face to face with the man she knew she was falling in love with.


	3. In Her Eyes

_I am not a hero_

_I am not an angel_

_I am just a man_

_A man who's trying to love her_

_Unlike any other_

_In her eyes, I am-_ In Her Eyes

There were times that Mac felt the loss of his wife as painfully as if it had happened the day before. Most of the time he was able to make it through the day without incident, but there were days when he thought he'd never be able to breathe past the ache again.

He had dated since Claire's death and there had been women, like Peyton, who he'd seriously considered a future with. But most of the women he'd dated couldn't seem to get past the title of cop, investigator, hero.

So many women saw him as the savior of New York City, the brooding avenging angel who took down the bad guys and set the world at rights. Claire had never been like that, and so many days he wished for that connection they'd had. With her there had never been any question as to the reasons they were together. Claire hadn't seen him as a superhero or a seraph; he was just a man who loved her, and she loved the man without reservation.


	4. Lullaby

_And oh, through darkness_

_Don't you ever stop believing_

_With love alone_

_With love you'll find your way_

_My love- _Lullaby

She could see him falling apart. It was the toughest case Flack had been on in a long while, and it was bringing him to his knees. He had taken down a fifteen year old kid, and he couldn't reconcile what he'd done. It didn't matter that the suspect had shot and killed three people, or that he'd been about to pull the trigger on Lindsay and Mac, all he could see were the empty brown eyes of someone's teenage son staring up at him.

They called it a good shoot, but it ate him up inside. He withdrew from them all, even Stella, retreating into himself with his guilt and agony. Seeing him that way terrified her, and she wasn't sure how to let him know that he was still the same person; that he was still the man she'd fallen in love with.

One day it was as if he broke in two. The blackness closed in around him and he couldn't seem to find the strength to pull himself out of it. She saw him fighting to raise himself from the quicksand and she reached out for him. She offered him her hand and her heart, and wanted to sob in relief when he took both. She could only pray that with her love to lean on he'd be able to find his way out of the dark.

Note From The Author—No clue in hell where this came from, but sometimes those kinds of stories are the best.


	5. Machine

_Turn the light on_

_And you will see things so much clearer_

_There's no heart, there's no heart_

_And I've spent all this time feeling_

_Something you can't feel at all-_ Machine

God she felt stupid, and she hated that feeling more than anything. For so many years she'd made sure she kept her heart encased in steel, never letting anyone in; then Danny Messer had swaggered into her life and in a lot of ways everything had gone to hell.

Before she knew it she had fallen for him, and though she wanted to stop it her feelings had hurtled out of control. She hadn't given in to his tenacious pursuit for a long time. She thought she was too damaged and he was too much of a player for it to ever work, but eventually she let him in.

For a while it was all good, and she smiled every time she saw a pool cue. Then Ruben died, and their relationship began to fall to pieces. He had been pulling away for a long time when she finally found out about Riki, but that didn't make it hurt any less. At first she was heartbroken; for a few days she was barely able to move for the grief. Then it changed.

When she thought back on his seeming lack of remorse, the flatness in his voice and the distance in his eyes, it was as if someone flipped a switch. All of the sudden sadness and pain gave way to raw anger. She didn't deserve this, nobody deserved this, and she'd be damned if she'd lay around wallowing in self pity. She was better than that, and if Danny didn't love her the way she loved him, that was just too bad. She was done, and she was gone.


	6. So She Dances

_A waltz for the girl out of reach_

_She lifts her hands up to the sky_

_She moves with the music_

_The song is her lover_

_The melody's making her cry-_ So She Dances

He always thought there was something melodic about her. She did everything with this inherent grace and poise that made other women around her envious and men fall at her feet. She moved through life like a dancer traveling with the ebb and flow of life's music.

When he'd discovered she had been a dancer, it hadn't surprised him. He knew in his heart that someone who moved the way she did had to have brought that beauty to some sort of creative outlet. But it wouldn't have mattered if she'd never stepped foot in front of a crowd, because she was a performer on life's stage regardless.

He watched her as the music of the world brought her constant joy along with seemingly endless pain, just as he watched her take it all in elegant stride. She persevered through it all, tears coming with the hardships and laughter with the joys.

Everyday he wanted nothing more than to join her in the dance, but it always kept her whirling just out of his grasp. So until the melody and harmony came together he would be a witness to all the heart stopping beauty; every single step, every single note.


	7. Weeping

_It doesn't matter now_

_It's over anyhow_

_He tells the world that it's sleeping_

_But as the night came out _

_I heard it's lonely sound_

_It wasn't roaring it was weeping- _Weeping

Sheldon Hawkes had seen too many horrible things in his life to count. Between his time practicing in a hospital, his work in the morgue, and the days he'd spent working as a CSI, he'd seen his fair share of night terrors come to life.

Even with everything he'd experienced, nothing came close to the horrors of this case. Nothing could come close to the rage he felt as he unchained four teenage girls from the cold concrete walls of a basement filled with at least a foot of water. Four girls sterilized and deprived of the opportunities that every little girl dreamed of because some sick bastard decided to play God. Because some sadistic son of a bitch thought that these girls who had made some poor choices shouldn't be allowed to have children and spread what he called their 'filth'.

This man, this man who had ruined the lives of four vibrant and beautiful young women, had said that it was necessary for the continuation of the human race. It all struck painfully home with Hawkes, and though he'd made a promise to use his hands only for healing, he'd never wanted to utilize them to take a life more than he did that day.

The suspect said that the girls were a threat to civilization. He called them devilish dangerous whores who needed to be eliminated, and his psychosis became painfully clear when he began to mutter about the roaring of the devil women. As they carried him away, Hawkes worked at the chain's on the last girl's wrist. When she was finally free she fell into his arms, shaking as her body was wracked with soul shattering sobs. As he held her he knew that it wasn't roaring that could be heard. The weeping would haunt his dreams forever.

Note From the Author—Okay, I realize this is incredibly intense. I took an African American History course and a Childhood in America course this past semester and evidently negative eugenics and the horrendous treatment of African Americans are still on my mind. The song was also written about apartheid, so I felt it warranted a rather serious story to go along.


	8. Now Or Never

_Sweeping eggshells still at 3 am_

_We're trying far too hard_

_The tattered thought balloons above our heads_

_Sinking in the weight of all we need to say_

_Whys and what ifs have since long played out_

_Left us short on happy endings- _Now or Never

They couldn't even speak to each other anymore; in the end it really didn't seem necessary. There were times when it felt as if they lived in a cartoon strip and well worn bubbles were suspended over their heads. 'How could you have done this to me?' 'You never understood my pain.'

They were both hurt and angry and they both felt wronged. It didn't matter any longer why they had gotten together, why they had worked together. All that was left was the bitter taste of ashes in their mouths; the remnants of a relationship that went down in the flames ignited by the passion he kindled with another woman.

Note From the Author—I realize this one is shorter than the others, but I just felt it didn't need to be pushed beyond this point.


	9. You Are Loved

_Everybody wants to be understood_

_Well I can hear you_

_Everybody wants to be loved_

_Don't give up_

_Because you are loved_- You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

That horrible day when he'd seen her with her arms curled around her knees in a hospital bed had been one of the worst days of his life. As she had taken him through the night's events he'd fought so that his hands didn't show the tremble brought on by rage and powerlessness and he hated himself and the rest of the team for not seeing any signs.

She'd been so unbelievably brave, but even then he could see her cracking. The bruises and the cuts would fade, but he knew that some scars went deeper than the surface. After she was released from the hospital he could see it in her. Though she was stronger after pulling through, he could see her questioning herself.

He knew her well enough to know that she was wondering if she'd ever be whole again. He knew she was terrified that she would never be able to fully trust again, that she'd never be able to find happiness again. He knew it wasn't the right time, but what he wanted more than anything else was to tell her not to give up, because there were so many people who loved her; because he loved her.

Note From The Author-- If you're a Josh Groban fan you'll notice these aren't in the order they're on the CD. Mostly they're in the order that I wrote them. Part two will be up soon with all of the Josh's wonderful foreign language songs from the album Awake.


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